


I'm So Sorry

by wafflenull



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, M/M, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:33:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflenull/pseuds/wafflenull
Summary: Marvin and Whizzer get into a fight at the hospital





	I'm So Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted on Tumblr to use these prompts for marvin/whizzer:  
> “You can’t die. Please don’t die.”  
> “Don’t ask me that.” and  
> “Are you still awake…?”
> 
> Not proofread so bear with me :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Follow me on Tumblr @autumnsettos (purely writing) @wafflenull (bunch of musicals, mainly falsettos)

Marvin opened the door and the smell of hand sanitizer burned his noise. He could feel his stomach flip and tried to keep himself from wringing his hands. He walked past the registration desk, like he did every day, and got on the elevator, like every day. He stood and waited for the ding that told him he was on the fifth floor, like every day. He hesitated a second before opening the room, like every day. He plastered a smile on his face and walked into Whizzer’s view, like every day.

Whizzer’s eyes opened and a tired smile appeared on his face. Marvin remembered the tired smiles in the morning. Just after having woken up, they’d look into each other’s eyes and that smile fixed everything that was wrong in the world. Now, that smile was the result of everything wrong with the world. That tiredness in the smile didn’t come from having slept all night, it came from the disease ravaging his body. Marvin used to love those tired smiles, now all he wanted were the ones where Whizzer’s whole face would light up. His eyes would glow and Marvin would feel like he was staring at the moon on a starry night.

“Hi, Marvin,” Whizzer said, his voice gravelly and his eyes distant. He was barely lucid anymore, always on some kind of medication. Not that they would heal him, but the doctors said the medicine would lessen the pain.

“Hey, Whizzer,” Marvin said, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. He placed his elbows on his knees and his head in his heads. “I have something to ask you.”  
He could feel Whizzer placing his chin on Marvin’s shoulder. He hummed, a silent “yes.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die,” Marvin said, the tears welling up his eyes. Whizzer rubbed his hands up and down Marvin’s shoulders. “What’s the question?” Whizzer asked, his voice significantly quieter than it used to be. This disease was taking everything, including Whizzer’s voice.

Marvin turned around in Whizzer’s arms. They looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Marvin uttered the words. “Stay with me?” Marvin knew the question was stupid. There was no way he could stay, but he had to ask. The question needed to get out. It couldn’t stay in his brain, flitting around, consuming every moment of his life, awake and asleep. “Stay with me,” Marvin whispered again.

Whizzer pulled away and looked out the window. “Don’t ask me that. You know I can’t,” Whizzer said. His voice was even smaller and quieter than before. It wasn’t because of the disease this time. Whizzer was scared. It was Marvin’s hands on Whizzer’s shoulders this time. “I know you can’t,” Marvin said. He looked out the window together. They both looked out the window, like they used to. They would lie in bed and look at the tree out in the yard. The could see the wind blowing through the leaves in the fall and the snow sprinkling the branches turning them white in the winter. Marvin would grab Whizzer’s hand and Whizzer would either say something sweet or something vulgar. Marvin loved both choices. He loved Whizzer.

“Do you want to stay?” Marvin asked. He could hear Whizzer’s breath shudder. “Do you even have to ask?” Whizzer said, still looking out the window. Marvin wished that Whizzer would turn and face him. “Yes,” Marvin said. “You’ve left before.”

Whizzer spun around. “I can’t believe you,” he said. He shrugged out of Marvin’s grip. “Get your fucking hands off of me,” he almost yelled. Whizzer’s face turned red and his eyes were glistened. Marvin couldn’t believe he had said that. He tried to say something to make it better, but he just sat there.

“I left because you treated me like shit! I can’t believe this. Are you going to start treating me like shit again? Right now?” Whizzer asked, shoving Mavin away from him. Marvin stood up from the bed, still searching his mind for something to say, anything. “Of course I want to stay with you, you bastard! You’re everything to me! Everything.” Whizzer looked down at the white sheets on the white bed in the white room. Everything was so white. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Everything,” he whispered, his strength gone again.

“Please,” Marvin started but Whizzer’s head snapped up like he’d forgotten Marvin was there. The anger in Whizzer’s eyes scared Marvin. “Leave,” Whizzer said. His voice was quiet but steady. Marvin left.

He laid in bed all night, staring at the ceiling. Why the fuck did he ask that? Why? Why couldn’t he ever just shut up? There was a crack in the ceiling. It wasn’t too long but Marvin’s eyes were drawn to it. He imagined the crack making its way across the ceiling, splitting it in half. He imagined the rubble falling onto him, suffocating him. He pulled his eyes from the ceiling to the wall. At 3 in the morning, he couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his jacket and went to the hospital. He argued with the receptionist about letting him in. He managed to make him let Marvin in. He tapped against the rail in the elevator and the ding hurt his ears. He opened the door the moment he got there and he didn’t put a smile on his face. He walked straight to Whizzer and sat on the edge of the bed. He placed a hand on Whizzer’s shoulder. He didn’t want to wake him up but he didn’t have a choice. If Whizzer died in his sleep…

Marvin shook Whizzer’s shoulder slightly to wake him up. “Whizzer, are you still awake?” Whizzer stayed still. Marvin looked at the monitors, they were silent. Why weren’t there any doctors here? Didn’t any alarms go off? He started to curl his fingers around the fabric of Whizzer’s hospital robe. “Whizzer!” He shouted this time. He could feel the panic rising in his stomach. “No, no, no, no, no,” he said, trying to wake Whizzer. “You’re alive, come on. You are, I know so.” He continued to shake Whizzer, the soft hair bouncing and his eyes open and…dead. He pulled Whizzer to his chest and off the bed. He pulled the lifeless body to the door and opened it. “Somebody! Help!” He screamed, falling to his knees. He could see a nurse running his way. He laid him on the ground and was combing back Whizzer’s hair with his fingers. “I’m so sorry, Whizzer. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I was such a dick. I’m sorry.” He felt hands on his shoulders and was being pulled from Whizzer. “Sir, you have to let go.” “No,” Marvin shouted, grabbing onto Whizzer again. He held onto Whizzer’s hand and could feel all his energy draining from his body. Slowly his fingers loosened and his mind drifted. He could feel the nurse’s hands pulling him off to the side and onto a chair but all he saw was the lifeless body of Whizzer on the floor. Why hadn’t he come sooner? Why did he leave? Why did he say all those things? “I’m sorry,” he whispered, to no one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Kudos and Comments are GREATLY appreciated! :D


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